Recently I moved out of my parents house into a rental house with my (extremely handsome) beau. Wowza! Yes, we have taken that “next step”. It actually was quite a smart move for both of us, as we live in a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, yet we are saving money living together.
One thing I must say is, I survived living with my parents in my twenties. Late twenties at that. Yes. I did. We are the boomerang generation. We are the ones that left home around 18, bounced back home, moved out again, and bounced right back in with the parentals. Is it entirely our fault? No. Well, maybe for some of us it was our own fault. We have endured some incredulous economic stressors. Many of us are struggling with student loan debt, while others are over-educated and underemployed. Some of us are dealing with both. Some of us just made some bad mistakes, end of story.
I have heard it plenty of times, “my parents said don’t come back once I turned 18”. I was fortunate enough to have very supportive parents that let me move home a couple times, once when I lost a job, the time before that to focus on grad school and paying down my credit card debt (totally my own stupid mistake), I think another time was just because I was in a weird place and transition phase in my life. It doesn’t help that I’ve been trying to pay on my way-too-high student loan debt (no worries, I have consolidated my student loan debt and am on an income-based repayment plan – HELLLLOOO 25 years of payments!).
Living with my parents was actually quite nice though. There was always food in the house, I got to see my mom every day, I was living in the house I grew up in, I was able to pay off debt and still enjoy going out with friends for dinner on occasion. It was nice to be living at home during the time my mom was dealing with breast cancer, having a double mastectomy, and going through chemo treatments. It was hard to see her so weak from chemo, but I was grateful I was able to sit with her for a few minutes the nights she was awake and ask her about her day and how she was feeling.
I was never ashamed to live with my parents, I was more so ashamed of the fact I didn’t have my sh*t together to be able to live on my own. But I owned up to it. I’ll be the first to admit that I was a complete idiot when it came to credit cards and got myself in some deep water (not that I’m completely in the clear). I didn’t know how to live within my means or budget the money I did have. As many of us know, there is a lesson to be learned from every mistake. I’m proud that I’ve made these mistakes because learning from them means I am growing.
The struggle bus gets real when you are trying to adult. It’s hard adulting. It’s very humbling experience to live with you parents when you are in your late twenties (I’m 28 if you were wondering). I don’t regret it one bit and I couldn’t be more appreciative to my parents for taking me in when I really needed a helping hand and for showing me immense love and support during difficult and stressful times. I am far from paying off my debt, but I am in a comfortable place in life where I can afford to pay rent and utilities and buy my own food while still paying down my debt. I’m still learning to stick to a budget and live within my means, but I’m doing my darndest to figure out the ropes. I’m happy to report that I moved out and I’m movin’ on up!
If you’re still living with your parents, hang in there. It’s not forever and there is usually a silver lining. Keep these four things in mind:
-It’s not forever. Not even close! Your parents don’t want you living with them forever (hopefully) and I’m sure you also want some independence.
-Remind yourself why it is you are there and what your end goal is. Whether you are in school, paying down debt, or trying to find a new job, it is temporary until you accomplish your goal.
-Embrace the silver lining, whether it is free rent, free food, or quality time with you ma or pa.
-Above all, don’t be ashamed. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. You’d be surprised how many people are in the same boat.
keeliesamara 